For those who attend our church they will know me sitting in the balcony harassed as I try to contain our three boys: Joshua (7), Timothy (5) and Stefan (2). Such is the state of our lives currently that Andy (my husband) is often to be spotted snoozing once the boys have gone out to Junior Church.

Anyway, back to the Sixties and Seventies. These early childhood memories are strongly combined with memories of long summer holidays touring through Europe (in a 1966 Splitty) and visiting relatives in Germany, or visiting my Grandmother in Devon and spending long, hot days body-boarding in the waves off Saunton and Croyde. Perhaps most significantly for me personally during these growing-up years was the weekly Sunday ritual of church and Sunday School, and witnessing first-hand many believer's baptisms and listening to the stories others told of how they had come to know Jesus for themselves. One Sunday evening at the age of 15, having listened to such a testimony, I decided the time had come to stand up publicly and say yes to the loving Father God whom I had loved from a very young age. And so I was baptised. Nothing amazingly dramatic had happened in my life, just a deep down conviction that this was the way I was to continue walking for the rest of my life. A few years later, Baptism in the Holy Spirit followed for myself and many others in the church as a new awareness of God's desire to equip us and draw us closer to Him grew and also His desire to heal deeply those parts of our lives that have been damaged in the past. It was as if becoming a Christian was just the start of God's work in my life, not the end of it.

A few decades later I am older and greyer and can say quite candidly that life has been at times really bad and I have fallen very very short of God's will for my life. I have been deeply saddened by things I have done and yet my testimony is that God never gives up on us, His grace is all-sufficient and at times simply breath-taking. I have also seen terrible things happen to lovely people and found myself feeling angry that those things happened. Through all of this the strong foundation I was given as a child has always been a tremendous help in the storms. In the same way that our own parents love us unconditionally, nothing, absolutely nothing can separate us from Father God's love, and His forgiveness is always available if we truly repent and confess our sins to one another - however long we have been Christians!!

Praying with our children daily, praying for our children daily, teaching them God's Word around the dining-room table, talking about those wonderful Bible stories that children just don't hear anymore in school (I know - I was a Head of RE), and perhaps most importantly trying to live the Life, are all part of what we are trying to do as a family. At times at the moment I am only too aware of how imperfect a mother I am and Andy's daily encouragements are one of the few things that keep me from drowning in a sea of guilt. I have a postcard in my kitchen which says 'I wanted to go out and change the world but I couldn't find a babysitter'. I hope some out there can relate to that feeling of treading water spiritually as you wade through broken nights, piles of nappies and endless piles of laundry. One day I'll rediscover the fervour I had as a young teenager and student at the Christian Union meetings or the mission work with Operation Mobilisation. For now I will just keep going and remind myself of that seasonal car-sticker which you often see at this time of year: 'God is for life not just for Christmas'. I think there is challenge for me this Christmas to recommit my life to Him and to move on and upwards in my thoughts, words and deeds. I want the last word in this very abbreviated testimony to be one from Scripture and one which has proven to be true very powerfully in my own life:

'Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desire of your heart'.
Psalm 37:4