Trying to summarise your whole life into about a page of writing is a pretty hard task, yet that is what I was asked to do for writing my testimony - telling how God has worked my whole life through to take me to where He wants me to be. It's still very much a work in progress. God knows that I'm no super-Christian, after all is anyone? Yet I hope this testimony will encourage you to let God take control of your life as he has done with mine. It's a roller-coaster ride, but I believe it'll be worth it at the end of the day to hear Him say, "Well done my good and faithful servant".

I've said many a time that there are two big points in a Christian's life. The first is believing God exists, believing He shed His blood that we might live, accepting the free gift of grace. The second, however, is the point when you "give your life to God" - when you offer your life to be used by Him. Often people get mixed up between the two but there is a big difference, which hopefully will become clearer to you in the rest of my story.

Obviously, due to my Dad being a minister and my Mum being a strong Christian, I was never in any doubt that God existed. Never throughout my childhood did I have a problem with that idea. I knew God died for me, and I knew this gave me a seat in heaven, and I was more than willing to accept that gift, and did so at a very young age (when I was still at Primary School I shocked my Dad by coming back from a Service proclaiming I had prayed the prayer he had told the congregation to pray - namely, to accept God's gift). It made perfect sense to me. All God asked of me was to accept His gift, and I got to go to heaven. Deal of the century!

As I moved to Knutsford, however, I started going increasingly to more and more youth events. The people on stage had done amazing things for God, and I realised there was something they had that I perhaps didn't quite have. They used to go on encouraging people to get prayed for and to ask Him into their lives. I tried and tried again and again asking God into my life. Sometimes it did make a difference, I was on a spiritual high, I'd read my bible for about a week, pray furiously, yet soon I'd just get bored. The truth of the matter was that God was already in my life. Asking God into my life time and time again was not going to work. Something different needed to develop. I'd passed stage one, yet I was not ready for stage two.

Around February last year (2004), however, something began to develop within me. I was utterly depressed. In a year and a half's time I was supposed to be going to university, yet I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I could see my life panning out as a boring dead-end job, maybe lots of money but certainly very little happiness. At this point I remembered the infectious enthusiasm of many Christians I'd met over the years. What was with that?

So I opened the Bible and went to the start of John. As I read the first few pages, I realised who my God really was. I realised the great love God had for us, but I also realised the pain God must have felt that His people never reciprocated that love. "He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him." (John 1 v11). God had been rejected, and I knew I had rejected him as much as anyone else. As I read further and further over those few days I realised God really loved me and wanted me to accept Him. He knew what was best for me - and that was Him.

This, however, was still all theoretical. I tried and tried to have a relationship with God but I didn't understand how I was supposed to achieve one. I realised, that day I read John, that just obeying laws was not going to help me - because it had said, "For the law was given through Moses, grace and truth came through Jesus Christ". What was it God wanted me to do?

At Easter People that year the theme was "Destiny" which was just what I needed. I had absolutely no clue what to do with my life. I grew closer and closer to God over the week, until one day we were in prayer and I felt an overwhelming sensation of His presence.

At first I was terrified. I, along with everyone else at Knutsford Methodist Church, have seen people knocked over by the sheer power of God. I couldn't get it out of my mind that I was going to get floored by God. I was in a total state of fear before God. Then I heard His voice - "Don't worry I won't make you faint", He said, in response to those inner thoughts.

I then remembered the God I'd read about. This God loved me. He put Himself last and me first by coming to Earth and dying in my place. There was no gain for Him! It was totally me-centred. God had my interests firmly at heart. He wasn't going to do anything that would scare me, like being slain in the spirit, nor was He going to ask me to do something that would be bad for me. I realised then that God was the perfect person to sort out my problem. I had no reason to live, no direction to go. I realised at that point that the best thing to do was let God take control, so I simply said to Him, "God you can do whatever you want with my life, 'cause I'm hardly doing much with it". Not very spiritual, but I meant it whole-heartedly. I wanted God in control.

Then I felt the strangest sensation, and the best way I can describe it is from the song, "The Potter's Hand". I felt like a piece of play-dough. I was going round and round in circles like I was being screwed up into a ball. Then it felt like God was reforming me, making me into something new. "Born-again" is the best phrase for it. I had the same body, but my spirit - yes, my spirit - was being moulded into what God wanted it to be. This was the second important point. I had given my life to God, I was letting Him do what He wanted with it.

That week I felt God was calling me to worship-lead at church. Crispi (Rev Chris Acher) encouraged me to go through with it, and we did a Service where I led worship for the band. Through those two weeks of preparation for the Service I felt the Presence of God for the whole time. It was a huge closeness and an intimacy I couldn't quite get to grips with. As the service finished, and I stepped away from the microphone, I just heard God whisper into my ear a big "Well Done", and He accepted my gift of worship, which I did for Him only and not for myself or anyone else.

Now you would expect me to finish there and say "And from then onwards it was all uphill". But no, I would be deceiving you if I did not tell you the rest. After that Service, God's Presence just left me. I couldn't feel God anymore. He was there, He never leaves us, but I couldn't feel His Presence like I had before. I prayed and nothing spoke back. Indeed, the devil was tempting me left, right and centre. I didn't feel at peace, I felt at war.

I couldn't understand what I had done wrong. Perhaps I'd got it wrong. Perhaps it wasn't God speaking. I then got into an argument with Song-Ah at band. Perhaps this wasn't really God's way. I didn't know where to go.

Then strangely I got a card. It was from Sue (one of our Church-members), and it said that she felt God wanted me to hear this verse from Isaiah - Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it" (Isaiah 30:21). Keep going the way you're going was the message from God, keep going My way no matter what. You may not "feel" it's right. You may be tempted to go left and right, but you must remember, this is the way - walk in it.

Last year I felt God calling me to take sessions at our Christian Union at school. CU bored me stiff as it was, and I knew very few people paid much attention so I wasn't wholly enthusiastic. Yet I knew God had told me to, so I obeyed, and hey presto guess what, a few months down the line and I'm going round the Circuit training to be a Local Preacher! Who'd have thought? God uses simple little tests of obedience to check whether you're ready for the bigger stuff. Being used by God is as much about putting chairs away and being nice to people as it is about standing up in front of church.

I could tell you lots more about what God has done in my life, and He has taught me a lot of things through my failures. Yet one thing He has challenged me to again and again - giving your life to God means obedience to His will. The most perfect faith is that of Job who said, "God may kill me, but still I will trust him" (Job 13:15).

I have tried as hard as I can to trust and obey God, in front of the Church and behind the scenes. I'm not a hundred-percent success, in fact I'm probably not even fifty, yet I keep trying to fulfil all of God's commands, whether He's telling me what to preach or telling me to stop lying. It's a constant struggle against my sinful and prideful nature, but I believe God will only use those who obey Him.

So even if you're doubting Him, even if you're feeling He isn't there, even if you can't see the fruits of your labour, just keep obeying Him, have faith. Trust in God's perfect way. Though you can't see the effects from this world, God can see all, and has a purpose for you if you follow Him. Think about Jesus. Even He questioned this purpose at one point when He told God He wanted out of being crucified. But yet He trusted God - and look at the grace we have as a result!

Keep your eye on the goal, so that when you come through the pearly gates Jesus will come out to meet you and say,